‘Tis the Season
‘Tis the season—of watching movies. No matter what latitude you’re at, winter is prime time for parking it on the couch with some snacks and popping in a film. Since it’s the holidays, we figured we’d offer up some of our favorite Christmas hits for you to binge these next few days. Is it definitive? No. Is it going to make everyone happy? Probably not. Is it a collection of some of the best Christmas movies you can get your hands on? You bet your chimney it is. Roll the tape!
Not only does this movie give us great lines such as “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear,” and “I'm a cotton headed ninny muggins,” it also offers one of the best new holiday menu items of the 21st century: breakfast spaghetti with sugared maple syrup, sprinkles, mini-marshmallows, chocolate syrup, M&M's, and Frosted Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts. Season’s eatings!
While we all loved watching Marv and Harry dodge tarantulas, swinging paint cans, and the gangster from the movie we all wish was real—Angels With Filthy Souls—this whole travel kerfuffle could have been avoided if someone had just saved Kevin a slice of plain cheese. Moral of the story? Always order an extra pie.
A Christmas Story
Winter sunlight can be mighty harsh off the blindingly white surface of snow, so for a movie whose most famous line is about the dangers of an unprotected eyeball, there’s a surprising lack of sunglasses in this Christmas classic.* The only time we see a pair of shades highlighted is in Ralphie’s soap poisoning fantasy. Yikes.
*Do not test our sunglasses against BB’s. That would be a very bad idea. We only promote good ideas. Like watching this movie.
Here in San Diego, our Christmastime looks a little more like Clark Griswold’s “Mele Kalikimaka” daydream than his trip to the sledding hill, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. Poolside presents anyone?
The debate as to whether or not Die Hard deserves a spot on the holiday hit list is played out. It’s in there. Get over it. After all, there’s only so many “cookies and caroling” films you can watch in a row without needing to switch things up. Yippie-ki-yay, all you Knock Fans.
A Charlie Brown Christmas
QUICK! Guests are arriving in less than 5 minutes. Your hair is still wet. You’re scrambling to juggle fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies and a new hors d'oeuvre you thought would turn out better. Frantically, you rack your brain for a way to class things up a notch—another candle ain’t gonna do the trick. You scan the living room for a solution, and out of the corner of your eye, you spot it: the Charlie Brown Christmas album, nearly 41 minutes of melodic mastery from the Vince Guaraldi Trio, leaning against your record player. Needle meets vinyl. Jazz calmly fills the room. You take a deep breath, lingering on the aroma of fresh goodies making its way from the kitchen. The evening is made.
Nightmare Before Christmas
A twofer! You can roll out this Tim Burton fever dream at Halloween and Christmas, so in terms of “bang for your buck,” this claymation monsterpiece might take the fruitcake.
Ohhh, you thought the only “odd-ball” movie on this list was going to be Die Hard, didn’t you? Well guess what, it’s time to expand your repertoire of fringe Christmas movies.
Miracle is about hockey, which equals cold, which equals winter, which equals holidays...right? Okay so the plot doesn’t necessarily revolve around Chris Kringle, but there is that one scene where the team gathers at Coach Brooks’ house to swap presents, so we’re going to count it. Plus, who couldn’t use a holiday helping of Cold-War-victory vibes right now?
We all know the song. Heck, it’s been covered by everyone from Ernest Tubb to Meghan Trainor. But did you know this Irving Berlin classic is the best selling single of all time?! No wonder they decided to make a movie based on it (though the song was actually written for a different film—go figure).
It’s A Wonderful Life
It is. Happy holidays, Knock Fans.
BONUS: Fireplace For Your Home
Ahhh, what an episode. The birchwood really adds a nice crackle.